These 7 simple activities – grounded in empathy, family, and strength – will help you train and empower your son to be a strong yet empathetic adult man. It’s never too early to think of your boy’s future development. If you want your son to grow up to be a gentleman, you need to proactively guide them with these tips.
I was flipping through my kid’s elementary school yearbook and came to a section on future aspirations. The kids each held up a sign that they wrote their future goals on. The page was covered in shooting stars and bold fonts.
Ironically, the yearbook section was titled “Building Bright Futures” – while the aspirations were less than admirable.
I estimated that 75% of the boys simply wrote “you tuber” on their little whiteboards.
It made me realize that parents now, more than ever, MUST step in and help guide their sons to grow into mentally healthy and emotionally strong men.
Parents – unless we want a future lacking in progress and compassion but saturated with Fortnite dances, gaming channels and prank Youtube accounts, we need to proactively empower them now.
Also read: How Parents are Accidently Raising the Weakest Generation Yet
7 Ways to Empower Your Son Grow into a Good Man
With my two sons, I quickly realized that I could lecture them about a topic until I was blue in the face – and they would stare at me blankly. They often need action to learn.
Boys absorb information when they are actually physically doing something. They learn best through actions and activities.
These 7 activities rooted in family, empathy, and strength can slowly train your son to be a well-rounded adult man:
1) Cook AND Clean up After Yourself
Have your son regularly help you with dinner or make something on his own to share with the family. On weekends my son loves to help bake pancakes.
This simple activity has three-fold benefits. It teaches boys important basic kitchen skills (such as, not to rely on a woman to scramble his eggs). Also, it teaches that work in the kitchen is not easy and it should be appreciated.
Lastly, when they help clean up after cooking it teaches them that their messes aren’t someone else’s responsibility.
2) Start Doing Chores that are Outdoor or Physical
While of course I don’t mean breaking any physical labor laws, having your son do chores that require some physical exertion or outdoor time can help empower them to grow into a man.
Most boys thrive when they exercise and feel accomplished when they complete a physical task. It’s good for the body and the soul.
My sons feel honored when my husband asks them to help in the garden or push a wheelbarrow.
When boys help out at home in a physical way they build masculine confidence (that is not a bad thing) and family pride.
Related: 10 Quotes About Gentlemen
3) Teach them to “Never Miss a Moment to Serve”
One of the most important ways to guide boys as they grow is to help them understand that our role as humans is to help others and treat people how we wish to be treated.
While we can’t all catch a plane to Haiti to help build homes for the less fortunate, there are plenty of ways to teach your sons to help others.
I’ve taught my sons to adopt the “never miss a moment to serve” mindset. This basically means that you can always search for ways to help others.
Some simple ways that they can use their strength and empathy to help others includes:
- Always look for someone to hold a door for when you are walking through a doorway
- Offer your help to someone weaker than you anytime you see an opportunity
- Girls go first (I know, it’s old-fashioned, but I still think it is important!)
- Shake hands and show respect when you meet someone
4) Practice “I statements”
Since communication is a key quality in a strong man, it is important to develop the conversation skills to effectively express feelings and talk openly.
A simple activity that can help is the use of “I” statements.
“I” statements will force your son to express his own feelings, rather then placing blame on others. For example:
- “You” statement: You never listen to me
- “I” statement: I feel frustrated when I feel like I can’t express myself.
When used properly, “I” statements lead to positive and efficient conversations instead of frustrated shouting.
As a parent, get in the habit of guiding your son to use “I statements” anytime you hear them use any other blame-placing form of communication.
For more ways to teach your son to listen to his emotions read here!
5) Must Apologize When Wrong
In my best 13 year old boy impersonation – “Saying sorry sucks!”
However, if you want to empower your son to be a good man – it is crucial that you imbed the ability to apologize into his heart.
With the movement towards gentle parenting, it can feel wrong to force your son to look at his mistakes, take accountability, and genuinely apologize.
But it is absolutely necessary to be able to say to your child “You made a mistake. It happens. But you have to apologize and take responsibility for what happened”.
On the other hand, it is very important to teach your kids forgiveness, too. For a great guide on raising kids who own up to their mistakes, click here.
6) Practice Faith or Spirituality Together
I may get some heat for this one – but I believe that for a boy to grow into a good man, they need some level of faith or spirituality.
In the most basic terms, spirituality is the concept that we are all part of something bigger than ourselves. There is more to life than just what we experience on a daily basis with our senses.
How can we expect our sons to deeply understand forgiveness, compassion, and love if they don’t believe that we are part of something bigger than ourselves?
Your family’s faith or spirituality practice is entirely up to you- but I urge you to consider developing one if you haven’t yet.
7) Always Eat Dinner Together
While I am saving the easiest activity for the end – it doesn’t mean I think this is unimportant. In fact, I think eating dinner as a family is one of THE most important ways to empower your son to be a good man.
When the family sits together – technology-free – it does more than simply giving them a chance to sit and talk together.
It provides a sense of security, togetherness, and tradition. It highlights the value of the family, and the importance of valuing your family – even on the busiest of days.
Also read: How to Rekindle the Bond with Your Growing Son
Final Thoughts on How to Empower Your Son to be a Good Man
These 7 super-simple daily activities can help you train and empower your son to be a good man.
I fear that if we don’t start training our sons to be men, we will have a future crisis on our hands – of Fornite-obsessed, gritty-dancing, Youtube-watching fools.
Joking aside, we live in a society where masculine has become a negative term, but that can’t stop parents raising boys to celebrate our son’s energy, strength and abilities.
Your son’s masculinity is a gift and a responsibility.
With your guidance, your son can use his beautiful energy and strength in ways that will help others and spread love in powerful ways.
If you found this helpful, please also read about How to Teach Your Family to Live from Their Heart.
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