5 Ways to Turn Mom "Failures" into Victories

Well, I failed. Miserably.

If you are on social media, have read parenting articles, speak to other humans, or no not reside under a rock, then there is no way that you have avoided hearing of some of these recent mom trends.

There are constant suggestions of what we 'should' be doing as moms. I call them "Mom Trends" because these activities and mindsets seem to come and go. Don't get me wrong - many of these trends are for our own good. They encourage moms to take much needed breaks to avoid insanity, or to remain productive during all of the chaos.

I agree with the thought behind ALL of these mom trends. I honestly do appreciate them all! I am sharing these failed Mom Trend attempts (and how I adapted them), as an outreach to other hot mess moms.

Mom Trend Fail #1: Life Planners

You need to set goals and get organized

I spend a large percentage of my day trying to remember what activities we have that evening, who's birthday party was this weekend, and if the kids were up to date on dentist appointments. At work I was thinking about my kids, and at home I was thinking about work.

I read all about how getting a planner and writing down my goals would change my life. It was time for me to get organized. I bought a beautiful floral, planner with my name on it. I guess I thought that if my daily checklists were covered in lilacs they would be more appealing.

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At first, I loved my planner. At first.

Unfortunately, if you don't have enough time to write in your planner, then the planner does more harm than good. My planner a black hole where I would toss in birthday invitations and bills, and forget to check for weeks. Once, I couldn't even open a page because my 5 year old used it to discard her gum on. After a missed birthday party and a late water bill, I realized I had failed this goal setting/planner Mom Trend.

Hot Mess Mom Fix #1: keep "goals" attainable, like brushing your teeth each morning and remembering to put on a bra before leaving the house.

Mom Trend Fail #2: Self Care

A happy mom is a patient mom.

Moms everywhere are making it a point to "practice self care routines". The idea is a dream come true. Moms make time to focus on themselves so that they can be a more relaxed and happy parent. I instantly imagined myself drinking a nice Merlot in a lilac-infused bubble bath, while listening to Michael Buble. The idea of mom self care makes perfect sense.

You can argue that I should have gotten a sitter, I should practice my self-care routine when my kids are sleeping, or that I should sneak into my room and lock the door. However, in reality, getting away from the kids was not so easy.

I quickly flunked self care.

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Hot Mess Mom Fix #2: Keep self care routine very short, such as locking yourself in the laundry room to eat leftover candy.

Mom Trend Fail #3: Frequent Date Nights

You should put your husband in front of your kids

I get it. You should not neglect your marriage when you have kids. You should make time for each other. It totally makes sense to not get so absorbed in the daily chaos that you forget who your husband is. However, I can't be the only one who thinks that comment is a bit extreme.

We both work full time, and have three little kids who are all in activities they love. I love my husband dearly, but I would be lying if I said that our last date night (without kids) in the picture below was 7+ months ago.

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If we are grading in the frequent-date-night department, then I earned a big FAIL.

Hot Mess Mom Fix #3: Date night will consist of drinking wine with my husband while we have a dance party to 90's hip hop music in the kitchen with our kids.

Mom Trend Fail #4: Cleaning Check Lists

Deep clean one room at a time to stay on top of things

I can't click on Pinterest without seeing a cleaning check list these days. I love the idea of these checklists. They walk you through deep cleaning a different room each day. However, as a busy, hot mess mom, I only get stressed when I see these. If the check list could talk, it would tell me, in a very judgmental tone, how disgusted it was with the soap scum in my bathtub.

It seems to take me 5 hours to get through the Mt. Everest pile of laundry in my bedroom. When I have checked that off my list, I am ready for a nap, a cocktail, or to spend time with my kids. Also, I found that the moment I earned a check mark, my kids built a fort with every blanket we own, and I wondered why I even cleaned in the first place!

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Hot Mess Mom Fix #4: Let your house get messy, and if company shows up unexpectedly, tell them your home must have just been vandalized and politely ask them to leave the crime scene.

Mom Trend Fail #5: Trendy Diets

Importance of working out and eating healthy

Being health-conscious is important for everyone. I tried the shakes, I tried the calorie counting app, and I tried the daily workout videos. For me, if the diet consisted of anything more complex than trying to eat healthy and walk/jog, then it was a lost cause.

I love to be healthy, and one of these days I will have time to do these fun, result-producing diets - but not during this constantly-tired stage of my life. When it comes to trendy diets or complex workout routines, I am a failure.

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Hot Mess Mom Fix #5: Chasing your kids around outside equates to running a half marathon each day.

What I Succeed in

I don't mean to brag here, but what I found I truly excel in is drinking a lot of coffee and just winging it.

I am calling other hot mess moms to help me start a new "Mom Trend" called:

Smile and Own it!

I found ways to adapt to my failures and put a positive spin on them.

Let's take each day at a time, laugh and be silly with our kids any chance we can. Stop listening to what everyone else is telling us we "should" be doing.

Who is going to rock these shirts with me!?

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