You are Not an Angry Mom. You Just Need One of These 6 Things
Stop feeling like an angry mom. You just are lacking in one of these 6 areas. Fix it and be a happier mom.
Mama Cuckoo birds lay their eggs in nests of other birds and hit the road, never to return again.
When black eagle moms see their chicks fighting, they usually sit back until one kills the other.
And black bears who only have one cub (instead of two or three), often just leave it to die. It's simply a 'waste' of their time.
Today, I put myself in a category with those jerky moms.
I was that mom that you saw at the store screaming "why won't you all listen" at her scattered kids. Then, I was that mom later sitting on the park bench, absolutely defeated - my hair a mess and my expression blank. Yet again, I was that mom who got excited, after that draining day, to put her kids to bed and sink into the couch.
I don't feel like this every day. However, when I do have angry-mom days I feel equally as terrible as those harsh mama animals.
Related: 5 Tips for Moms Returning to Their Roots.
Related: Moms, Please Stop Feeling like you NEED a side hustle
We Aren't Angry- We are Deprived
Did you know that certain beetle moms eat until they are full, then (and only then) their offspring get the leftovers- if there are any.
Of course, as humans we don't do this; we do the complete opposite. We often totally deplete ourselves of emotional, physical, and spiritual needs until we have nothing left to give.
Our negative feelings and outbursts come from a place of overwhelm and exhaustion.
Related: 5 Steps to STOP being a People-Pleaser
Before you label yourself as an "angry mom", consider that you may actually just need one of these 5 things:
1. Some Quiet Time
Sensory overload is actually a growing problem for modern parents. Sensory overload happens when you’re getting more input from your five senses than your brain can manage and process. For some people, this feels like your brain is “stuck”, and you can’t focus or prioritize things.
The outcome? You guessed it: Anger and frustration!
Never underestimate the value of quiet time. Even if it is just for 10 minutes at a time, when you feel overwhelmed step away. I tell my husband to distract the kids and I sneak away for a hot bubble bath.
Related: Learn about Sensory Overload in Parents
2. Someone to Listen or Help
Sometimes we need someone to give us suggestions or help us solve our problems. While other times, we just need someone to say, "yeah, that sucks".
Finding a friend, family member, or neighbor who will listen is invaluable. Even a Facebook moms group could offer some support or insight. Your support group will assure you that you are not, in fact, an angry mom.
After you Yell, try these 5 things to reconnect with your kids.
3. Sleep or Rest
I can't even remember what it feels like to have a good nights sleep. A tired mom is an irritable mom. An irritable mom is a short tempered mom.
Prioritize your own sleep and rest. I know it is hard but these tips here will help you relax your mind and get some much needed ZZZ's.
4. Basic Needs
If you ever wondered if hangry (or being extra irritable due to the feeling of hunger) was real, check out the Merriam-Webster Dictionary.
Oh, it's real. It's common. It's brutal.
If you don't tend to your basic needs, such as eating, drinking, and washing your hair on occasion, you will be easy to anger. It's a fact of life. If you don't take care of yourself, you can't properly take care of another human being.
5. A Little Love and Affection
My dear, you are not a robot. You can't expect to cook, clean, and wipe bums without a little love and affection.
Do you need a cuddle with your kid, a little something-something from your husband, or a supporting talk with your mom?
Whatever type of affection you need, do not be afraid to go out and get it.
Related: 3 Uncomfortable Mom Thoughts that are Very Common
6. A Hobby or a Goal
Many times in motherhood, we start to lose track of who we really are. If you go too long without being true to you, it will become harder to find yourself.
A great way to spend some quality time with yourself is to develop and focus on a hobby or a goal.
Personally, I LOVE photography (proof: click on "photography blog" under my blog menu). When I am taking pictures, I feel alive. I also incorporate my kids into my photography hobby, so it is a win-win.
Goals are a great way to focus your energy in a positive way. Read about goal-setting tips for moms here.
Final Thoughts on the Angry Mom Feeling
The question now is which of these things do you need? Take some time to analyze what may be lacking that is causing to you to feel irritable and get mad.
And if you still feel like an inadequate mother, just compare yourself to the harp seal. When her babies are 12 days old, she leaves them alone on the ice (unable to swim or fend for themselves), so she can go find a new mate.
Feeling mentally exhausted? Learn how to battle the mental burnout here!
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Lots of mums feel inadequate when they are amazing! It's a shame to see. Great article as usual.
I'm not a mom yet, but I hope to be one soon in the next year or two, but I know a lot of mothers could use some time of peace and quiet and sleep. Hoping this post helps lots of moms!
Wonderful insights and useful tips for a lot of moms out there, I do agree a support system and someone who listens is really important. - Knycx Journeying
These are very nice tips! Having a quiet time is very important to control as a parent. Some people don't do it and make things worse!
Sleep and rest is what moms needs the most!
I am not a mom, but this is all true. People who are exhausted tend to have a shorter fuse, and so they explode. It is important for mothers to devote to themselves, as well. So they can better take care of the little ones.
I love reading this. As a son, it make me think how i should be more understanding with my mom. I myself relate to all the things you mentioned, so I can’t imagine how it must be like for her haha
Thanks for these tips. I swear this is all I need. I only have one child,well plus a little sister, these two drive me nuts, they don't listen, they mess up my nail polish (especially my younger sister) and sometimes they get my pads and dress up their dolls. It drives me crazy but my child is my whole life and I love him very much but I can't avoid getting mad.
I am not a mom but I feel it!
I felt this hard. I was deprived of a hobby or something of my own, which is why I started my blog. It has given me an outlet to express myself the way I don't think I could with the people in my real life.
In my current circle of friends, I'm the only one who isn't a Mom. And what I've noticed in our group is that many of my friends just need someone to talk to (saves them from going to counselling), and I find it cool coz we also learn from each experiences.
Wow what a great post! You mentioned a lot of things in here that are so true and relatable. Sometimes it’s not that we’re angry we just need help. Someone to tell us we are doing a good job. We are humans and when we give everyone else 110% there’s nothing left for ourselves.
This is such a great article and so informative for parents! These days it can be so hard to maintain stress levels, luckily I wrote a piece on the stresses of parenting that may help!
Read full article here: https://www.funkyfrugalmommy.com/2024/03/the-stressful-parts-of-parenting-we-all.html?m=1