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Mom Guilt is for the Birds!

We are all doing our best as a moms and dads to support and raise loving children. How do I know that you, the reader, are a good parent? You wouldn’t be reading a ‘parenting blog’ if you did not care! Whether you are a stay at home parent or a working parent, you know one thing for sure— it is not a walk in the park. There are the constant activities, guaranteed mom-kid battles every time you are running late, and regenerating Mt. Everest size piles of laundry. You feel that the only moments you are not running are the ones when you are sleeping. And even that sleep is short-lived – just when you feel you are getting rest, a kid wakes up with a fever!

Not to mention the mom guilt! We are constantly asking ourselves if our kids are getting too much screen time, if they are in too many activities, OR if they aren’t in enough activities. I am here today to answer all of these tormenting questions that keep us moms up at night.

Mom disclaimer:  I am not a pediatrician, and this is not medical advice. I’m just a mama giving some real life honest experiences of how I avoid going crazy.

We are actually our biggest critics. Let me judge if you are a good mom or not. Spoiler alert: if you are looking for negativity, you came to the wrong blog.

My Kid Still Uses a Bottle, Pacifier, or Blankie

So what!

I know the pediatrician warns of changes in teeth, tooth decay, and bedtime dependencies. However, this is my last baby. We both look forward to cuddling at night time and enjoying the closeness as I feed him a bottle. He will not be a baby for much longer. I can’t imagine he will be going to college with his Tommee Tippee bottle. His teeth are just fine thank you very much, now we will continue our cuddles.

You will blink your eyes, and they will be 10 years old. For now, if you have your child’s best interest in mind (comfort, cuddling, relaxation), then in my opinion, you are doing nothing wrong!

My kid doesn’t eat organic foods

So what!

No, pop/soda isn’t part of our daily diet. However, I want my kids to enjoy and experience life. In the summer, they sometimes drink Mexican Coca Cola. They think drinking out of the glass bottles is coolest! And if there is candy around, we let them enjoy themselves. Obviously moderation is key, but let them be kids!

Yes, I know our microwavable chicken nuggets are not organic. I try to throw in some carrots to “balance out” the nuggets the best I can. But the truth is, I have stopped overly thinking about this. I am doing my best, and they are thriving, happy, and healthy.

I Let My Kids Get Dirty

So what!

Yup, I am the mom whose kids are running around outside barefoot. I am “that” mom whose son has worms in his pockets. I am your friendly neighborhood mom who lets her kids stay outside until 9 pm in the summer to catch fireflys. 

As long as my kids aren’t doing something obviously dangerous, I think that running around outside and ‘being kids’ is the best thing they could be doing- no matter how disgusting and dirty they get!

My Kids Sneaks in my Bed at Night

So what!

Although we try to avoid the above picture, it happens. They have nightmares and sneak in. If I am being fully honest, we don’t mind it. We welcome the surprise cuddles. Someday they will think we are ‘lame’ parents, so for now I will enjoy being the apple of their eye. 

My Kids go on Tablets or Watch TV

So what!

Yes, my kids get screen time. No, it is not always educational. 

As long as you are not fully relying on the screen to “babysit” your kids on a daily basis, screentime is ok! It gives my kids time to wind down and relax. And more importantly,  if gives ME some time to wind down and relax. When I am rested, then I am a better mom. I am more patient with my children and ready to handle anything that comes my way.

My pre-children self would have gasped if I saw a mom using you tube or an iPad  to occupy their children at a restaurant. Now, I see it as an opportunity for my husband and I to sit and enjoy each other’s company if there is no controlling my children at Applebees!

Take the Quiz

Not it is time to test if you are a good parent with a short quiz:

  • Do you care about your child’s happiness? 
  • Do you care about your child’s well-being?
  • Do you love your child unconditionally?

Did you answer Yes to all three? Congrats- you passed!

When your internal “mom-guilt” or a judgy mother-in-law is pestering you about your parenting decisions, throw a big “SO WHAT!” their way! If you are working hard to raise your kids, you are doing the right thing!

Parenting should be more fun, and less stress. You should enjoy your kids, and if using some of the above tricks helps you get by then go for it!

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