Parenting has been, by far, the most amazing, heart-warming experience of my life. However, there are many moments sprinkled in the magical beauty of it all where I can’t help but think:
Parenting is freaking weird!
Just when you think you have it figured out, things happen that seem to just go against the laws of physics, or defy odds. The strangest part about it is that when I talk to other parents, I realize that I am not alone. In fact, it’s almost spooky how common these phenomenons are.
Parents, can you relate to these 10 mind-boggling mysteries?
1) Weekend Morning Mystery
As if they have a cruel pact, all kids will have to be dragged out of their beds groggy and cranky on weekdays, yet will wake up bright and early on weekends.
I thought it could be due to weekend excitement, similar to how kids get up early on holidays. To test this theory, I conducted a little experiment with my kids – where I stopped telling them if the following day was a weekend or weekday.
The conclusion? I was very wrong. Despite not mentioned that it was the weekend – Saturday morning, at 6:05 am, they were all lined up at the end of my bed wondering where their Ego Waffles were. This is a mystery we may never solve.
2) They WILL Find the Mud
I am confident that we can be in the middle of a drought, in the center-most part of the desert and my kids will find mud. They will walk through it with their shoes on. They will accidentally sit in it. And, they will scratch behind their ears and get dirt there, too.
3) The Missing Sock Phenomenon
Researches may never discover where all of the missing socks have gone. All I know is that I recently dumped out my kids’ sock drawers, and what I found was shocking. The number of mismatched socks outnumbered the matching pairs 30:1.
This is not a staged picture. It is an actual, panoramic account of the quantity of mismatched socks I found in our house. Shocking!
4) “They were good until you got home…” Mystery
Have you ever heard that from a babysitter, daycare, or family member how good your child was while you were gone? Then, the moment you walk in to see them the breakdowns and tantrums come full force?
I’ve read that this occurs because your child feels most comfortable showing their true emotions with you. However, I secretly feel that they are just playing a silly joke on us parents.
5) Sibling Battles Can Arise Within Seconds
A typical adult argument can be predicted. People start to disagree throughout a conversation or negative emotions brew overtime. Sometimes these things take years before they erupt into an actual argument.
Children arguments are a different story. They are swift, unpredictable, and fierce. On multiple occasions my children were playing nicely, and I literally blinked my eye and they were in a full-out WWE Royal Rumble.
What are these battles even about? That is a conundrum for another day.
6) Ability to Produce Hurricane-Grade Messes in Minutes
Recently, I cleaned out my 7 years old closet. I threw out some old toys (secretly, of course, to avoid a meltdown), and organized all of the clothes and contents inside of it.
I went down stairs to refill my coffee, and when I returned I was mystified. I remember thinking it looked like his closet was alive, ate some bad sushi, and was vomiting out all of it’s contents.
I stared long at my son. I wasn’t even mad. I was impressed that he was determined enough to do anything that quickly. After-all, I had only been gone for a few minutes and he miraculously un-did the project that took me a solid hour.
7) Quiet=Danger Puzzle
Prior to kids, I thought of quiet as a good thing. I associated “quiet” with relaxation and self-reflection.
Things are much more complex now. Although when you are a parent you crave quiet time the most, an instant internal siren goes off every time you experience that once enjoyed sensation. For you know that it means. Either your toddler just took all of the toilet paper off the roll, or your child is learning to write their name on your walls in permanent marker, or some one is trying to give your frisky dog a manicure with red nail polish.
You don’t have to be a detective to know that if it is quiet, then something is wrong.
8) The Doorbell Debacle
I have yet to find any logic behind this, but it is a given fact that the only time my doorbell rings is when my child just fell asleep. We rarely have visitors or packages delivered; however, when we do, you can guarantee it is moments after I got my cranky kid to lay their head down.
Door-to-door cable solicitors seem to have this timed perfectly. Maybe they think that if they catch me at THE worst time I will sign-up for anything to get them off my property.
9) Unsolved Camera Mystery
I often catch my daughter taking selfies with my cellphone. She usually takes an average of 50 selfies at each sitting. However, when I bring my camera around the atmosphere changes.
My kids seem to have a 6th sense for when I have my camera and they instantly fight, run, or refuse to smile.
10) Sticky Surfaces Spook
Every surface in my house is somehow sticky. Even though I know this, I am still constantly spooked by our sticky surfaces. If I turn my back for a second there is a sticky, red popsicle, hand print on the counter-top that I wiped down only moments before. Very eerie.
If I didn’t know better, I would think that there is a sticky ghost constantly touching every inch of my home.
Can you relate to these mind-boggling mysteries of parenthood? What unsolved mysteries have you come across?
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