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Learn to Speak Your Kid's Love Language

As if there was ever a more obvious statement, we all want our children to be happy and healthy. “Doing what is best for them” is the constant theme in our lives as parents.

However, the definition of “happy and healthy” is constantly changing. If you think back to the time of the cavemen, happy and healthy meant a safe cave to sleep in and a full belly. If Cave-Mom and Cave-Dad scavenged enough berries for their children, then they most likely ended their day feeling satisfied that their little ones felt loved.

Fast-forward to today, and things are not quite as simple. We want our children to be more than just fed. We want them to feel loved; however, we are faced with new challenges that our cavemen forefathers couldn’t even imagine. We worry about things like overexposing our kids to technology, chaotic schedules, and overindulging them with toys. We are trying to do what is best, but we are stuck in constant moral dilemmas as parents.

So how do modern children feel loved? And when parents are busy what impact does it have on kids? We went straight to the source and interviewed 12 kids, ages 4 to 11, and found that the answer was much more simplistic than we thought.

What Makes You Feel Loved?

As it turns out, most children agree that they feel the most loved when they are being shown physical affection — through cuddles or hugs. Many also agreed that it was when their parents spent quality time playing with them.

The best way to learn how to make a child feel loved it to listen to them. We had 10 mom bloggers ask their children what is the best way for parents to show children love. Find out what they said!

How do Kids Feel When Their Parents Are Busy?

It is clear, based on the above poll, that children don’t need anything fancy or complex to feel that they are loved. They thrive on affection and quality time.

Unfortunately, the world we live in is jam-packed with tight schedules, and making time for these things is easier said than done. How do children feel when their parents are busy? When we asked our children if it made them sad when their parents were busy, the majority replied “Yes” or “Sometimes”.

It is unrealistic for all parents to clear our schedules, quit our jobs, and play with our children all day – although playing Barbies for 8 hours does sound enticing. Instead, we must make the most of the time we spend with our children.

When we polled the above children as to what parents should do when kids are sad, they agreed that they feel better when their parents show them affection, listen to them, and play with them.

5 Simple Ways to Show Your Child Love

Based on the children’s responses, our group of Mom Bloggers came up with 5 simple things you can do to connect with your child.

1)Cuddle and Let Them Know You Are There For Them

It can be as simple as cuddling up with your child to read a book or have a conversation. The physical affection shows them that you are there for them.

2) Distraction Free Play or Crafts

Make a point to block out all distractions for at least 10 or 15 minutes. Play with your child or work on a craft with them. This will show them that they have your undivided attention.

3) New Activity, such as baking or gardening

Kids love to try new things! Try an activity that you have never done before. Start a garden or bake cookies. Learning together is a great way to bond connect.

4) Go on a Trip or an Adventure Together

Whether it is a family vacation, a short weekend trip, or even a hike around the local park, going on a trip is a great way to block out typical day-to-day responsibilities and bond.

5) Laugh and Talk

‘When you sit down and have a conversation with your child, you are showing them that what they say matters.


What Did Our Kids Say About Feeling Loved?

*Note: Names were changed for privacy

“C”, a 7 Year Old Boy, likes to be Taken Places

  • What is your favorite thing about your mom?: That you bring me places and that you care about me and that you play with me outside
  • How should parents show their kids that they love them?: By cuddling and playing and buying stuff for them

What is the #1 thing parents should do to make their kids feel happy? Take them out to places!

Check out Mom Ashley’s blog, Chronically Caffeinated Mom, which focuses on motherhood and special needs parenting.


“I”, a 4 Year Old Girl, Loves Cuddles

  • What is your favorite thing about your mom? Hugs and cuddling
  • How should parents show their kids that they love them?: I don’t know

What is the #1 thing parents should do to make their kids feel happy? Just Loving

If you are looking for some gift ideas head on over to Mom Sabrina’s blog, The Confused House Wife, focuses on parenting and family.


“T”, a 5 Year Old Girl, Loves Affection

  • What is your favorite thing about your mom? You are funny.
  • How should parents show their kids that they love them?:  Care for their kids like giving them food, help them if they need help with something, hug them and kiss them.

What is the #1 thing parents should do to make their kids feel happy? Hug them and kiss them.

Check out Mom Lynelle’s blog, Mom Succeeds, which provides tips for busy moms to improve their lives and households through productivity, personal growth, and money management.


“L”, a 7 Year Old Boy, Thinks Quality Time is Key

  • What is your favorite thing about your mom? Playing with her and Love baking with her
  • How should parents show their kids that they love them?: hugging and kissing, also being nice

What is the #1 thing parents should do to make their kids feel happy? Play and spend time with time

Don’t miss Mom Oye’s blog, Live Learn Better, which is a lifestyle blog that focuses on relationships, money, and just learning to do better.


“B”, a 10 Year Old Boy, Likes to Go on Trips With His Family

  • What is your favorite thing about your mom? She takes care of us and loves us.
  • How should parents show their kids that they love them?: They should listen to them, play with them, spend time together, and be nice to them. I like when we go on trips together.

What is the #1 thing parents should do to make their kids feel happy? Spend time with them and play with them.

Are you interested in learning more about enjoying traveling with kids? Check out Keri’s blog, Bon Voyage With Kids.


“H”, a 6 Year Old Girl, Enjoys Hugs and Kisses

  • What is your favorite thing about your mom? You snuggle me all the time!
  • How should parents show their kids that they love them?:  They should take them swimming in the summertime.

What is the #1 thing parents should do to make their kids feel happy? Give them kisses!

Check out Angela’s blog, Fry, Party of Five, which focuses on motherhood and lifestyle topics.


J”, a 6 year old boy, Thinks Parents Should do Nice Things for Kids

  • What is your favorite thing about your mom? She’s funny.
  • How should parents show their kids that they love them?:  By being nice to them. Like playing with them and giving them their favorite food.

What is the #1 thing parents should do to make their kids feel happy? Give them lots of kisses

Do you need information on simple ways to live with in a budget? Check out Jessica’s blog, which focuses on raising kids, making time for relationships, and enjoying the good things life has to offer!


“L” is a 7 Year Boy, Who Thinks Parents Should Attend Their Events

  • What is your favorite thing about your mom? She comes to all of my baseball games
  • How should parents show their kids that they love them?:  Sit down and play with them

What is the #1 thing parents should do to make their kids feel happy? Talk to them and make sure to listen

Mom Renee’s blog, Simply Snapping Mom (this blog!), focuses on simplifying photography and parenthood.


“L”, a 6 Year Old Girl, and Her 4 Year Old Brother “C” has Different Views

  • What is your favorite thing about your mom? “L”- That she loves me. “C”- Playing with you
  • How should parents show their kids that they love them?: “L”- Say I love you, when they are sad, they should comfort them, be kind, and hug them. “C”- Hugging them, loving them.

What is the #1 thing parents should do to make their kids feel happy?

“L”- Play a game with them

“C”- Hugging

Lauren’s blog, They Say Parenting, is focused on intuitive parenting, trusting your gut, and not always having to listen to what “they say.” Today, there is so much advice out there. It is hard to know what’s best. We believe parents know best. Our goal is to help parents see that they aren’t alone, and to feel confident in themselves as parents.


“P”, a 4 Year Old Girl, Feels Loved When Her Parents Play Outside With Her

  • What is your favorite thing about your mom?  She plays with me and gives me big pushes on the glider.
  • How should parents show their kids that they love them?:   Pick me up and put me in my bed when I’m asleep

What is the #1 thing parents should do to make their kids feel happy? Give me cuddles, hugs and kisses and big blastoffs on the swings

Swing by Stephanie’s blog, Dresses and Dinosaurs, for more information on parenting, mom life, and motherhood.


“C”, 9 Year Old Girl and her “E” her 11 Year Old Brother, Likes That They Can Talk to Their Mother

  • What is your favorite thing about your mom? “C”- She is nice and plays with me. “E”- There are so many good things. I really do like going on trips with you and playing games with you.
  • How should parents show their kids that they love them?: “C”- If they give you cuddles, hugs, or pays more attention to you, and also gives you 1,000 toys. “E”- Cuddle with them. Play with them. Say you love them.

What is the #1 thing parents should do to make their kids feel happy? “C” Cuddle “E” Cuddle

Rebecca is a fantastic photographer. You can check out her work on her blog at Becca Jean Photography.

Summary

Love is timeless. Even in this modern fast-paced, technology-driven world, children simply crave affection and quality time with their parents. Don’t overthink how to make your child feel loved. Use your intuition, keep it simple, and open your hearts.

Do you have another way to make your child feel loved? I’d love to hear in the comments below!

If you found this helpful, share it! And check out some other recent posts!

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[…] my almost 10 year old was a baby, her love language has been physical affection. She wants to cuddle and hug all the time. She still sits on my lap and […]

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Wednesday 25th of May 2022

[…] are key to making your child feel valued and loved. Different kids have different “love languages“, and when you learn which of these your kid responds to you can best connect with […]

STEPHANIE KELLY

Wednesday 16th of October 2019

I love this!! All 3 of my kids love to cuddle ALL THE TIME!

Catherine

Tuesday 15th of October 2019

Our family thrives on hugs and quality time wouldn't change a thing, well done and thanks for sharing.

Brittany Fiero

Tuesday 15th of October 2019

These responses are amazing. As busy parents, it's easy to forget exactly how much our children notice and take in. Our actions really do make a difference on their feelings and perception. Great post.

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