These 5 forbidden phrases only cause negativity and interfere with emotional growth inside of a home. Consider outlawing these toxic phrases.
When I walked through my front door, I was instantly transported to what reminded me of a bar scene from an old western film.
However, instead of an old wooden piano playing ragtime tunes, the sound of an already watched Youtube video blasted through the halls.
In replacement of the old toothless, bearded man sleeping off a morning hangover, but husband was effectively napping through the noise.
And two of my kids mimicked what would have been the angry cowboys fighting in the corner of the room.
My home had become the Wild West.
Kids fight. Homes are noisy. Husbands nap.
But, my problem was the rotten things I heard my family members saying.
That is when I decided to ban 5 phrases from my home.
Also check out: 5 Ways to Project Positive Energy onto Your Kids
Our 5 Forbidden Phrases
I am no Sheriff, and I don’t use force or authority to run my home.
But I also didn’t want to raise a Wild West outlaw.
It was time that we all reformed our language and improved our communication skills.
This includes eliminating:
- Ungrateful complaints
- Unproductive phrases that are only meant to harm
- Other useless criticisms and digs
I wondered “where do I begin?”
With careful thought and consideration, I decided to start a list of these 5 “forbidden phrases”:
1) “Why Me”
If you ask your child to help out and receive the reply “but why me!”, then it is time to intervene.
This phrase loosely translates to things such as: “I don’t feel like helping”, “Do it yourself!”, and other ungrateful complaints.
Learn 5 ways to prevent the “poor me” mindset here.
Instead, teach your child to have an open conversation if they feel there is some major injustice in your home – but crying “why me” when you simply ask them for something is not an acceptable response.
2) Starting an argument with the word “You”
Starting a discussion with “you”, instantly places blame and escalates feelings of anger.
“I” statements force the speaker to express their own feelings. For example:
- “You” statement: You never listen to me
- “I” statement: I feel frustrated when I feel like I can’t express myself
Explain to your family members that if they want to confront someone, they must start with the word “I”.
Related: Anger Management Activities for Kids
3) “I’m Bored”
Dear child, while I love you to death and enjoy being with you – I am your mother, not your entertainer.
My children have toys, books, computers, and the great outdoors all accessible to them.
Studies have actually linked boredom to creativity and improved problem-solving skills.
Boredom is, in fact, a gift – not a punishment.
4) “Shut up!”
Out of all of our “forbidden phrases”, there is no more toxic phrase than this harsh outburst.
Not only is “shut up” a direct command, it essentially means this: I don’t care how you feel or what you are saying, and I have no interest in being kind enough to hear you out.
5) “I Hate You”
Kids often resort to this phrase to get a reaction out of someone.
Emotional intelligence is the to the ability to perceive, control, and evaluate emotions, and most young kids still have a lot of growth ahead of them.
Since your child’s emotional IQ is still fairly low (which is expected), they may have trouble effectively verbalizing how they feel.
Final Thoughts on Forbidden Phrases for Your Home
When our kids use these “forbidden phrases”, we explain to them why it is on our list.
Our little “town” started to see peace and order when we outlawed these 5 simple phrases.
The ‘duals’ were less frequent when the kids had clear communication boundaries – they actually began to think before drawing the first insult or complaint.
And in the meantime, if you make your kids call you Sherriff, I reckon you won’t be judged here.
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