Are you looking for tips on how to raise an emotionally secure child? These 7 phrases are telltale signs that your child is secure and confident. If you don’t hear these yet, you can work them into daily life to develop a mindset rooted in confidence and resilience.
My 11 year old son found himself in the middle of a nasty school rumor.
After wondering how we got here already – when I feel like he just took his first steps yesterday – I had to decide the best way to support him.
When the teacher investigated it and confirmed it was a rumor, I approached my son to comfort him.
He told me boldly, “I was never worried. I knew the truth and God did, too.”
I was extremely impressed by his confidence and ability to bounce back from an emotional event. Was I parenting his younger sister and brother to be emotionally secure, also?
Emotionally security refers to feeling confident navigating the world. This involves feeling comfortable expressing your true self (the positive and the negative), and feeling you don’t need constant reassurance from others.
I began looking for signs and tips on how to raise an emotionally secure child in this increasingly unstable world.
Dealing with an insecure teenager? Start here with tips on helping teens deal with anxiety and insecurities.
7 Phrases That an Emotionally Secure Child Says
Parenting is a journey full of ups and downs, especially when it comes to nurturing emotional resilience in your child. As your little one grows from a toddler to a teenager, they will face many challenges that can test their emotional strength.
From dealing with school stress to navigating social situations, it’s important to equip your child with the tools they need to bounce back and thrive in the face of adversity.
These 7 phrases signal that you are raising an emotionally secure child (and if you aren’t yet, you can teach them!):
1) “Let me Think About This First”
One of the most obvious characteristics of emotionally secure kids is that they aren’t impulsive in nature.
They take time to think things through and choose their responses and actions carefully.
As parents, you can guide your child to use this simple phrase if they need a moment to noodle on a situation. If your child seems hesitant, tell them it is okay to explain to others that they need to think things through before responding.
Also read: How to Raise a Critical Thinker
2) “I am not comfortable with that”
Having clear boundaries, and sticking to them, shows high levels of emotionally intelligence.
Children who define their own boundaries are less likely to be in dangerous situations because they trust their gut instinct.
Support your child anytime they feel uncomfortable doing something, and praise them for expressing their feelings.
Related: How to Avoid Raising People Pleasers
3) “I see you are struggling, I can help”
An emotionally secure child looks outside of themselves and recognizes how other people feel in different situations.
They have the confidence to reach out to others in need and offer support.
As parents, the best way to teach this is to be a good role model. Explain to your child, “Linda hurt her arm so let’s go to her house and water her flowers for her.”
Learn all about your kid’s emotional cup here – how to fill it and what drains it.
It’s as simple and clear as that.
An emotionally secure child can say the word “no” and not feel the need to follow up with an apology or explanation.
As parents, we often get frustrated with children who talk back to us; however, allowing your child to voice their disapproval is a very important part of their emotional development.
5) “Good idea, I will try that”
Another sign of an emotionally secure child is the ability to be open to listen to suggestions from others.
They have the confidence to try new things accept the criticisms and opinions of others.
Parents, encourage your child to listen to advice from others and to respect that others may think of things they haven’t yet considered.
Also: Learn how to raise humble kids with these 5 tips.
6) “I need a minute to calm down”
Everyone gets upset from time to time.
The difference between a child who is comfortable with their emotions and one who is not, is that the former can:
- Identify WHEN they need to walk away and calm down
- Understands HOW to calm down
There are simple ways to teach kids how to regulate their own emotions. These activities and can help kids calm down on their own: calm down skills.
Looking to teach your kids to value their uniqueness? Check out these awesome All About Me Preschool Worksheets.
7) “This is who I am, and that is OK”
The definition of an emotionally secure child is one who is loud and proud to be who they are.
They don’t feel the need to defend their personality or actions. They practice self-love and express confidence.
Start here if you are looking for tips on raising confident kids.
Final Thoughts on How to Raise an Emotionally Secure Child
Whether it’s encouraging them to stick by their boundaries or helping them develop a sense of self-love, these simple phrases will give your child the confidence to take on life’s challenges and be set up for success.
When I hear any of my kids use these 7 phrases, I consider it a strong sign that that they comfortable with their emotions and feel strong enough to take on any obstacle.
Even if that obstacle is a big as a 5th grade rumor.
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Also read: Why Parents Need to Focus on Family Roots