Why I am Raising My Kids Like it's the 90's
I am doing everything I possibly can to raise my kids like it is the 90's.
Are my kids wearing Airwalks, JNCO jeans, and Nirvana T-shirts? Well, no.
Are they drinking surge with butterfly clips in their hair? Nope.
Are they playing pogs, with their lips slathered in Lip Smackers chapstick? Nah.
Are we listening to N'sync? I wish. However, there are other ways I am raising them like it is the 90's.
I may be biased, but the 90's were a great time to be a kid. It was a much simpler time. We lived on our bikes.
We communicated with our buddies by writing notes on paper. Our biggest concern was figuring out what time the neighborhood game of release or tag started. Life was simple.
My goal is to raise 90's kids, so that they can develop the memories and friendships that I did as a kid. Deep friendships- ones that only develop from spending countless hours together inventing games to play. Before technology overload, social media drama, and selfies.
While I am raising my three children, I have noticed that the world is quite different, and if I want to give my kids the type of childhood I remember, then I have to work at it.
My goal is to create emotionally stable kids, by making life a little more simple for them. I am dedicated to raising my three kids like it is the 90's by parenting with these mindsets.
1) It is Okay to be Bored
Many kids in today's society do not know what boredom feels like. They may occasionally complain that they are bored, but that is usually only for a short moment before they grab their tablet or I-pads. They don't know what it really feels like to sit around with nothing in front of them and entertain themselves.
Try this 7 Step Method to Limit Screen Addiction.
Boredom is healthy for kids. It forces kids to use their imagination and grow. As a kid, we would spend countless hours building forts out of sticks. We would play imagination for hours and really awaken those creative parts of our brain.
2) Let them Experience a Loss
I remember playing an hour long game of Monopoly with my family. When my younger sister lost, she grabbed a corner of the game board and launched it into the air.
That was always annoying (and slightly hilarious), but it was an important part of growing up. You don't always win. You have to learn how to lose.
Learning how to cope with a loss at a board-game prepares you for the losses that you will no doubt deal with throughout life. You will get turned down for dates, you won't always get the job you interview for, and you won't always have the biggest house.
You may think that letting them win every time will boost their self confidence and avoid tantrums. In reality, you are not doing them any favors in life. Let them lose and cry and flip the game board. Support them when they lose at a sport.
Allowing them to lose will give them the tools they need to cope with a loss as a kid - so that they won't lose their minds when things don't go their way as an adult.
3) Don't Overload with Gifts
I remember being on vacation when I was 8 years old, and my parents let my sister and I pick out something from a gift shop. I remember picking out a little rock with two googly eyes glued on and my younger sister picked out a pencil. You can't make this stuff up: a ROCK and a PENCIL. And I will tell you- I loved that rock, and my sister adored her pencil.
My point is, we only got gifts on our birthdays and holidays, so we were truly excited about every single little thing we got.
Check out these 6 Non-Toy, Experience Gifts for Kids.
Until recently, my kids would walk into a store and instantly try to eye up the largest toy in the store. They had so much crap at home that nothing excited them. Once we started limiting gifts to special occasions, the gifts they got (even the small ones) became special and magical. Experiences became more valuable than gifts when we became less materialistic.
Related: The Beautiful Benefits of Boredom
4) If it is Nice, Get Outside
My mom constantly told us, "Get outside and play". We would play outside for hours and only come in when we were called for dinner.
Outside play is crucial for kids mental and physical development. They make friends, get dirty, and run off energy- which makes them happier kids.
As long as it isn't raining or frigid temperatures, we go outside. They run around, breath in the fresh air, and enjoy being kids. Let them jump off swings, skin their knees, and be loud
In fact, there is a growing dilemma called Nature Deficit Disorder, which describes the idea that humans, notably children, are spending less time outdoors, resulting in a wide variety of behavior problems.
5) Get Dirty
With the exception of Easter Sunday, I never remember being told not to get dirty. We'd always put on our "play clothes" (shoes were optional), and we would roll down hills, make mud-pies, and dig for worms.
Your kids won't be lacking sensory stimulation when they are playing in a puddle.
Related: Mindfulness Activities for Kids
6) Deal With Their Own Battles
As a 90's kid, I don't recall any parents helping us work through arguments with friends. We figured it out between ourselves. Sometimes an agreement was made, and sometimes the fight ended when someone slammed the door and yelled "I am never playing with you again". But here is the thing- that is ok!
Unless someone is hurt, we tell our kids "figure it out" when they come to us to work out their little spats. Kids need to learn how to communicate and compromise, and there is no better time for this th during play.
7) Stay Up Late, Break Routine
My favorite summer memories were running around outside at night with our friends. We would play tag in the dark, collect lightning bugs, and enjoy the summer nights. We always felt so 'cool' staying up late.
Let kids stray from their routine. Kids will learn to be flexible when they aren't on strict routines. They learn to be functioning adults that can cope with change.
8) Never Tell Them "Hurry Up"
As much as I try to slow it down, I can't deny that we live a fast-paced life. We are constantly running from school to sports and activities. I feel that we are always late. I realized I was making my kids nervous by always yelling "hurry up" at them.
My favorite quality of my kids was hat they liked to 'stop and smell the roses', and I was basically telling them to cut that out. When I was yelling 'hurry up' constantly at them, I was destroying this beautiful childhood quality.
Even when we are running late, I remind myself of my easy going 90's years and let them take their time and enjoy the little moments in life ( even if deep down I am biting my tongue because we are super late or wherever we are going).
Click here for 4 other things you shouldn't say to your kids.
Final Thoughts on Raising Kids Like it's the 90's
Think back about your favorite memories. The ones that shaped you into who you are today. Most likely these memories do not involve television.
Everyone's childhood experience looks different, but I want to pull from the positives of my childhood and raise my kids with those ideals. Let's do our kids a favor and get back to the "90's state of mind". Let them ride their bikes, scuff their knees, and dig up worms. They won't even realize that they are learning to be functioning adults.
Try a few of these and, in the meantime, if you want to blast some Will Smith then go on and get Jiggy with it. I won't judge.
If you agree, spread the word and share it! And check out my other posts how to raise kids who are healthy at home and strong in the world and follow us on Facebook.
You make so many great points in this blog!! You are only a kid once! It’s so wonderful to make the most of this precious time ❤️
Such great advice and reminders 🙂 Limiting technology is a must in my home!
I am going to use some of these tips. It's hard to.implement the playing with kids outside when ur kid is the only one playing out side. In have 1 daughter she is 6 months and as she gets older she won't have a 90's playmate. I wish things were still that simple!
I want to start by saying I agree with this article on every point. There is so much truth in it. I raised my oldest children in the 1990's and here I am 30 years later raising a 2nd set of kids. I have read the comments here and there was 1 that stuck out that i want to comment not to bash or critize but actually play devils advocate. Regarding having a child who is special needs. You see raising the older set of kids was much different , simpler. Raising this set I have 2 special needs 1 is 17 and on the Autism spectrum. Routine for us was crucial in the younger years, for our sanity and his, to a degree. Yes it lessened his anxiety and made things easier for him to cope in the moment but what it didnt do for him was make him prepared for real life in the 2000's. You see things dont work on his time and all the sheltering i provided him set him up to fail. His first job the manager switched his job duties without warning him or training him or even giving him a heads up. So when my son came into work the next shift to find his job title and duties had changed it through him into a steadfast fit of being beyond stubborn. He wouldnt budge. The eagerness to do his job well turned into a refusal to even show up on time or check to see if he was scheduled to work. My son was so use to having things set up for him to be settled that he didnt accept change at all. We have since changed the way we handle things with him. Long story short sometimes the hardest thing we will ever have to do is allow our kids to go through difficult times knowing even though we can we shouldnt rescue them. Just be there to brush them off when they fall.
Loved your blog and your state of mind! We're trying to do the exact same thing for our daughter! And I'm sure she'll reap the benefits. As we did with our 90's upbringing! Great to read we're not alone in this!
I LOVE the title of this article. I also love it's contents. Well said. Thank you.
Yes, yes and yes! Boredom? I love it, sparks creativity! Less gifts, and toys altogether, as this makes room to creativity and imagination! I could go on and on :)) Simply great this post! 😉
You obviously are not talking about children with any special needs. My child with Autism & ADHD CANNOT follow these points. Generalizing sucks for those of us that have differently abled children. You are effectively telling people, who can’t or choose not to follow these points, that they are wrong. I’m not trying to be rude, please don’t take this as such. But if you have the ability to raise your children that way, then great. Not everyone has that option.
Thanks for your comment! I agree. Of course, similar to any parenting post on advice, it is never ever a one size fits all. I am merely commenting that this is what I am doing- not what every single parent must do. Thanks for reading and I agree.
I have a deep seeded love for having grown up in the 90’s and tell my husband all the time how fortunate those of us who grew up before technology took hold really are. Having recently had a child of my own I struggle with knowing his childhood will never be as spectacular as my own in regards to being a 90’s kid. This article is defiantly helpful in an attempt to recreate that time and place and I cannot agree more with all the topic points. Thanks so much. It’s wonderful to know others feel the nostalgia and want their kids to grow up as we did.
Live this! It's so important to learn essential skills like how to be bored. Our kids need 90s to show them its OK to not have everything instantly.
I love, love, love this! You captured what it was like to grow up then perfectly! I'm pinning this so I'll always have it!
Absolutely agree! Kids have no idea what boredom is 😀
My kids tell me I’m bored, I tell them let’s play a game or read a book etc. Thanks for the great tips!
This is exactly how I parent now! I call it the "let 'em bleed" parenting style, lol.
I don't have kids, but I love this! Yes, bring the fun and simplicity back to life. Less electronics and more plain old fun. A friend of mine had her niece and nephew visiting and they asked to go outside. They went outside and said it's empty out here. It was funny at the time, but they had no idea how to use their imagination to have fun. Giving them a few balls to play with or bubbles does not entertain them. They were only 3 and 5 at the time. Hopefully she can teach them some good old fashion fun. Great article!
"It is empty outside"- that is so funny, but the perfect example that kids need to learn what to do when it seems "empty" or boring. Thanks for sharing!!!
I love this post! I am so with you on that. We actually left the city and moved to a rural community so we could raise our kids like that. Love these tips.
Yes!!! We moved to a neighborhood with a ton of kids. But we would love to move somewhere more rural with more room to run!
I agree wholeheartedly! My son is 1 year old, and we're all about libraries, parks and museum days. I'm even playing with the idea of trying to salvage my backyard grass with my son this spring. Currently Googling!
Yes! Libraries and museums are great ideas! It really gets their imagination going, too! 🙂
Exactly! I implement the same strategies.
In many ways I wish my son could have experienced what it was like to live without internet.
Me too! I totally agree with that!
THANK YOU for sharing this! All your points are so spot on! Especially about slowing down and the fact that it's OK to be bored 🙂 I stumbled across your blog and so far I'm loving all your posts. Keep up the great work!
Wow, thank you!!! That made my day! 🙂
This is perfect advice. I especially agree with allowing them to lose. There is nothing worse than a kid who thinks they are entitled to win everything.
interesting happy family smile!
So true!!! I was a kid of the 80's (and a teen of the 90's), and this was true for me too!!
This TOTALLY applies to 80's kids too! Thanks for commenting 🙂
Love this!! Especially trying to not say hurry up all the time!! I'm with you. Running here and there between school and sports I'm always feeling rushed and then I rush them. I don't want them to feel that way either. I'm going to work on this too:)
Love this! Thanks for writing & posting. Great points. As a child io the 90s I too feel nostalgic for a "simpler" time. So many memories! Kids need to use their imagination and not having an electronic device shoved at them all the time is so important!
Absolutely! My neighbors tell my husband and I how much they love seeing our kids outside all the time because you just don’t see that anymore. It’s hilarious because even our kids get annoyed at other kids who just want to sit inside and play video games!
I love this and we really try to live this way- especially pushing our kids to play creatively outdoors and figure out their own solutions to minor problems. The problem is.. I often feel like we’re the only ones parenting this way. And when despite living in a neighborhood full of kids, when we send our kids outside, there’s no one for them to play with. Our kids are willing to solve problems independently, but hard when they’re up against the kid at the park AND the parent that has stepped in to defend them. They (and we) would love to let them run around w their friend catching lightning bugs but 7pm rolls around and the parent of their play date friend (who has felt the need to stay the whole time rather than drop off their child) explains that they need to be getting home for bed.
So, I guess my question is, how do you parent like it’s the 90’s in a bubble? Have you been able to rally support for these principles in your immediate community, and if so, HOW?
Kate- Thank you so much for this comment and discussion. I fully understand exactly what you are talking about. We live in a neighborhood with a lot of kids. I found that some parents are raising their kids exactly like us, which makes it easier. HOWEVER, I have some friends and neighbors who parent COMPLETELY different! Like you mentioned, the biggest challenge is that those parents don't let their kids 'deal with their own conflict' and the interventions can cause stress.It does create a problem sometimes- but we do our best to stick with our philosophy and spend a lot of time with the families that we can relate to.
I was wondering if there were more parents like us. This is definitely the way to parent. Adding shoes are optional. In my house we live by the rule. Live and let learn. Boredom creates masterpieces for life.
Thank you for this! I needed the 'stop telling them to Hurry up' point, I'm always rushing my children around and just realised that I'm teaching them to focus in the next "thing" as opposed to being in the moment and enjoying where they are now!