Why I am Raising My Kids Like it's the 90's
I am doing everything I possibly can to raise my kids like it is the 90's.
Are my kids wearing Airwalks, JNCO jeans, and Nirvana T-shirts? Well, no.
Are they drinking surge with butterfly clips in their hair? Nope.
Are they playing pogs, with their lips slathered in Lip Smackers chapstick? Nah.
Are we listening to N'sync? I wish. However, there are other ways I am raising them like it is the 90's.
I may be biased, but the 90's were a great time to be a kid. It was a much simpler time. We lived on our bikes.
We communicated with our buddies by writing notes on paper. Our biggest concern was figuring out what time the neighborhood game of release or tag started. Life was simple.
My goal is to raise 90's kids, so that they can develop the memories and friendships that I did as a kid. Deep friendships- ones that only develop from spending countless hours together inventing games to play. Before technology overload, social media drama, and selfies.
While I am raising my three children, I have noticed that the world is quite different, and if I want to give my kids the type of childhood I remember, then I have to work at it.
My goal is to create emotionally stable kids, by making life a little more simple for them. I am dedicated to raising my three kids like it is the 90's by parenting with these mindsets.
1) It is Okay to be Bored
Many kids in today's society do not know what boredom feels like. They may occasionally complain that they are bored, but that is usually only for a short moment before they grab their tablet or I-pads. They don't know what it really feels like to sit around with nothing in front of them and entertain themselves.
Try this 7 Step Method to Limit Screen Addiction.
Boredom is healthy for kids. It forces kids to use their imagination and grow. As a kid, we would spend countless hours building forts out of sticks. We would play imagination for hours and really awaken those creative parts of our brain.
2) Let them Experience a Loss
I remember playing an hour long game of Monopoly with my family. When my younger sister lost, she grabbed a corner of the game board and launched it into the air.
That was always annoying (and slightly hilarious), but it was an important part of growing up. You don't always win. You have to learn how to lose.
Learning how to cope with a loss at a board-game prepares you for the losses that you will no doubt deal with throughout life. You will get turned down for dates, you won't always get the job you interview for, and you won't always have the biggest house.
You may think that letting them win every time will boost their self confidence and avoid tantrums. In reality, you are not doing them any favors in life. Let them lose and cry and flip the game board. Support them when they lose at a sport.
Allowing them to lose will give them the tools they need to cope with a loss as a kid - so that they won't lose their minds when things don't go their way as an adult.
3) Don't Overload with Gifts
I remember being on vacation when I was 8 years old, and my parents let my sister and I pick out something from a gift shop. I remember picking out a little rock with two googly eyes glued on and my younger sister picked out a pencil. You can't make this stuff up: a ROCK and a PENCIL. And I will tell you- I loved that rock, and my sister adored her pencil.
My point is, we only got gifts on our birthdays and holidays, so we were truly excited about every single little thing we got.
Check out these 6 Non-Toy, Experience Gifts for Kids.
Until recently, my kids would walk into a store and instantly try to eye up the largest toy in the store. They had so much crap at home that nothing excited them. Once we started limiting gifts to special occasions, the gifts they got (even the small ones) became special and magical. Experiences became more valuable than gifts when we became less materialistic.
Related: The Beautiful Benefits of Boredom
4) If it is Nice, Get Outside
My mom constantly told us, "Get outside and play". We would play outside for hours and only come in when we were called for dinner.
Outside play is crucial for kids mental and physical development. They make friends, get dirty, and run off energy- which makes them happier kids.
As long as it isn't raining or frigid temperatures, we go outside. They run around, breath in the fresh air, and enjoy being kids. Let them jump off swings, skin their knees, and be loud
In fact, there is a growing dilemma called Nature Deficit Disorder, which describes the idea that humans, notably children, are spending less time outdoors, resulting in a wide variety of behavior problems.
5) Get Dirty
With the exception of Easter Sunday, I never remember being told not to get dirty. We'd always put on our "play clothes" (shoes were optional), and we would roll down hills, make mud-pies, and dig for worms.
Your kids won't be lacking sensory stimulation when they are playing in a puddle.
Related: Mindfulness Activities for Kids
6) Deal With Their Own Battles
As a 90's kid, I don't recall any parents helping us work through arguments with friends. We figured it out between ourselves. Sometimes an agreement was made, and sometimes the fight ended when someone slammed the door and yelled "I am never playing with you again". But here is the thing- that is ok!
Unless someone is hurt, we tell our kids "figure it out" when they come to us to work out their little spats. Kids need to learn how to communicate and compromise, and there is no better time for this th during play.
7) Stay Up Late, Break Routine
My favorite summer memories were running around outside at night with our friends. We would play tag in the dark, collect lightning bugs, and enjoy the summer nights. We always felt so 'cool' staying up late.
Let kids stray from their routine. Kids will learn to be flexible when they aren't on strict routines. They learn to be functioning adults that can cope with change.
8) Never Tell Them "Hurry Up"
As much as I try to slow it down, I can't deny that we live a fast-paced life. We are constantly running from school to sports and activities. I feel that we are always late. I realized I was making my kids nervous by always yelling "hurry up" at them.
My favorite quality of my kids was hat they liked to 'stop and smell the roses', and I was basically telling them to cut that out. When I was yelling 'hurry up' constantly at them, I was destroying this beautiful childhood quality.
Even when we are running late, I remind myself of my easy going 90's years and let them take their time and enjoy the little moments in life ( even if deep down I am biting my tongue because we are super late or wherever we are going).
Click here for 4 other things you shouldn't say to your kids.
Final Thoughts on Raising Kids Like it's the 90's
Think back about your favorite memories. The ones that shaped you into who you are today. Most likely these memories do not involve television.
Everyone's childhood experience looks different, but I want to pull from the positives of my childhood and raise my kids with those ideals. Let's do our kids a favor and get back to the "90's state of mind". Let them ride their bikes, scuff their knees, and dig up worms. They won't even realize that they are learning to be functioning adults.
Try a few of these and, in the meantime, if you want to blast some Will Smith then go on and get Jiggy with it. I won't judge.
If you agree, spread the word and share it! And check out my other posts how to raise kids who are healthy at home and strong in the world and follow us on Facebook.
I grew up in the 90’s and I am now a Momma to my sweet baby girl! My husband and I feel the exact same way! Our baby is 5 months and has never seen a screen and will not for quite awhile! Kids need to be outside, playing, imagining, exploring, and YES being bored! I was an educator for 6 years before I had my baby girl and I watched how too much technology is impacting students learning in the classroom. They have trouble focusing, sitting still, and using their imagination! We need to go back to a simpler time and our kids will ABSOLUTELY benefit from it! ☺️💕
Briana, thanks for your comment!! People often see boredom as a negative thing. I think it is where imagination is born!! ❤❤
I absolutely LOVE this post! As a child of the 90s I can speak from experience and say this is all SOO true! Now that I have kids of my own I notice I raise my kids just as I was raised and these days its almost 'weird' to raise kids like this? Like its 'normal' to stay inside, not get dirty, and utilize technology for entertainment... anyways my little rant is over 🙂 , thank you for sharing!!
This 🙌🏼 I love it on soooo many levels and needed to read this. Thank you! ♥️
Love your points so much ! I find myself tearing up as I read your reasons bc I would relate with every single one of them! I Have two crazy boys and I try to be a much close to my wonderful childhood days that lacked electronics, but your points gave me a refresher and reminder of how we DO need to let kids be slow and do things at their own pace. Wouldn’t trade my childhood for anything, I can only wish our kids today feel the same was when they’re adults ! ♥️
Loooove this article! It’s like you read my mind. I’m a 90s baby myself (born 1989) and i loved warm summer nights riding bikes with friends, feeling so free and alive. I couldn’t agree more with all of this! Seems like all this technology is ruining our youth 🙁 Glad to know more mom’s are trying to get back to simpler times <3
Yes!!! Thanks for commenting! I miss those days!
Your childhood must have been very different from mine. I also grew up in the 80s/90s and there was definitely a lot of television and video games. I remember literally spending all day in front of a screen. My kids' screen time is much more limited than mine.
My husband and I talk all the time about how it is so different today than when we were kids. You make great points though and my kids to have the best possible childhood. I wish that we lived in a safer world and I wouldnt be nervous letting my 5 year old play in the street with friends without being right next to him.
Aren't the kids that grew up in the 90’s the same children who have grown up to have zero work ethic, be offended by everything and desire to be nothing? I think we should go back a whole other decade to get to kids who grew up not entitled! 90’s preventing seems to be the catalyst of ”where parents went wrong”
Thanks for your comment. We all grew up differently so this is 100% based on my experience and we were not raised to be entitled. Others may have had different experiences tho. Thanks for sharing!
Not arguing the points, I agree very much with some of these statements, however I wouldn’t call it raising kids as if it was the 90’s.
We had video games and gameboys then as well, and as mentioned before earlier generations went out and got dirty and played on their bikes. I don’t know where you live, but where I live in New Zealand seems to me that kids who stay inside and on tablets/tv lots have parents who are less involved or parents who are both working full time.
I work full time and by the time kids have been picked up and we’re home it’s nearly 6pm. Then straight to dinner and homework and then only an hour left before bedtime comes. I understand how easy it is to get the kids out of the way so you can cook, clean etc and get it all done before your own bedtime and hopefully some time to relax with your partner or a book.
Our kids 4 and 6 don’t have tablets and are only allowed tv in the morning on weekends so we get a sleep in.
Our teenager has a tablet because it’s needed for school and sure; he spends a lot of time on it and sometimes stays up later than he should but this is normal and can also be hard to monitor. He’a still a great kid at 16 and helps around the house cooking and minding the little ones.
Parenting is believe is all about mindfulness and patience. Take the time to stop and listen to the sounds, the smells. Let the kids help from a
Young age when they’re still interested in being around you. Cooking takes longer, folding clothes takes longer but it’s so worth it. That’s usually how we spend our evenings during the week anyways. And we can have some great conversations and fun while doing it.
One last point: board games/card games instead of movie nights is super fun. Our teen will play on his iPad while we watch something even though he chose it, but if we play a games everyone is involved!
All great points!! Thanks for sharing! Love the idea of making dinner and I agree with you!
This is an awesome post! This fellow 90s kid totally agrees. I am not a mom yet but I will be doing the same thing when I am.
So glad I cam across this post!! So beautifully said, it reminds me of my childhood so much and I want this for my daughter, thanks for helping me remember the special things from my childhood, and inspiring me to do the same for my babe.
Kayla- thanks for your kind words!
So sweet! I was ready for a guilt trip reading this, but I was surprised to find that I'm already doing or trying to do most of these things! The only real issue I have is with outside play; we don't have a yard and I just don't trust ANYONE, so I feel like I can't just let my kids go play outside. Maybe it will feel different when they're older, but I'm totally paranoid and always want to keep them as close to home as I can! That said, when we go outside and play with local families we do know, I let my toddler run around with the older kids and expand his range a bit.
Yes!!! Fully agree with you. We let our kids play outside with friends a lot - -BUT we are always watching them. I am with you there 🙂 Thanks for commenting!!
I loved growing up in the 90s! I'm definitely taking inspiration from my own childhood as I raise my boys! I hope they're well-rounded like this! I love this article!
Dawn-- That's fantastic! Thanks for your comment!
This has been the best read i've had today. What a lovely n sure shot idea to raise kids in a time when there are so many wrong ways. I love you. Sincerely.
The doctor mommy.
Awesome keep up the great work
Fantastic post. It can be hard to parent so many things can go wrong.
Thanks for shedding some light
Oh how I adore this! I'm raising my kids in a similar fashion in a traditional life style! Feel free to check out my page. https://traditionalmomlife.com
Oh wow! I love your blog. Seems we are very similar! 🙂
This was awesome! Many of these things I already try to implement so my kids will have a “real childhood.” It makes me smile to know I’m not alone!